Monday, 18 May 2015

The easiest way to control and manage your Anger!

This month's Synchroblog topic made me to pause for a while to think deeply about #Anger. How could one possible define this word "Anger" to denote the intense emotional feeling one experiences when in this mood.

Anger usually arises as a result of what has happened to someone. It clearly has an external cause. In other words, some sort of provocations occur immediately before the Anger experience. Anger could be expressed in either an aggressive or a calm and calculated way; it is the facial expression or action people display when their basic personal boundaries are violated. The angry person usually finds the cause of his or her anger in an intentional, personal and controllable aspect of another person's behaviour.

People have individual set down rules of what they can tolerate from others and how long they can endure certain behaviour (like comments, actions, attitudes, etc.) from others. There are several ways people react to any breach of this privacy, depending on the circumstances prevailing at the said time. Whenever these boundaries are violated, bitter and agitated, hot and tensed up feelings gradually start oozing out with or without sharp (noisy) breath. 

There are so many things that can cause people to be angry. People feel angry when they sense that they or their loved ones have been offended. Another thing that cause people to be angry is when something goes wrong and they are certain about the cause of the anger,  convinced that someone else is causing it and feels that they can do something about it.

Characteristics of Anger:
Some characteristics of Anger include external facial expression, body language, physiological responses combined with or without acts of aggression. The angry person might display different shades of Anger, for example, swollen face, sudden silence, tapping of foot/finger tips on the floor or on any surface close by, snapping of the fingers, twisting of the lips, dimming of the eyelid, etc. This behaviour associated with Anger is designed to warn aggressors to stop their threatening behaviour.

Do you forgive and forget easily? How long does it take you to find peace within yourself?

Uncontrolled Anger can affect people's personal and social well-being negatively. There might be hostile, radical, aggressive and fierce reactions which may lead to destruction of property. Physical violence might lead to wounding somebody or exchange of words. A silent, deadly decision to retaliate in a more disastrous way might lead to actions that one will regret later in life. Worst of all is the hostile inaction, such as withdrawing or stonewalling.

Even though some people say that Anger may be used effectively when utilized to set boundaries or escape from dangerous situations, remember that one has the option of making choices. Instead of initiating a dominance contest or harbouring resentment, those who call themselves children of God strive to better understand and constructively resolve issues when they arise.

It is human and natural to be angry when offended in any way. In the Holy Bible, even God (The Most High) was angry with the Israelites and some prophets several times when they disobeyed Him. In His anger, He destroyed places and made His people suffer in one way or another. God's display of Anger is mentioned in many chapters of the Holy Bible. One remarkable thing about God (worth emulating) is that even after His fierce Anger, He had compassion and restored His people.
Psalm 145:8 says "The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love."
Isaiah wrote in 12:1 "In that day you will say: "I will praise you, LORD. Although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me."

Being conscious of the negative impact of Anger in our lives and that of the people around us, all God-fearing people should endeavour to avoid or dilute any situation that could lead to Anger. Prevention, they say, is better than cure. In the book of Proverbs 19:11 (International Standard Version) it says "A person's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is to his credit that he ignores an offence"

Even when provoked, we should make great effort to find peace within us and forgive. A prolonged Anger gives rise to other irrelevant issues that could eventually have greater and negative effects in our lives and that of those around us. Paul thought the Ephesians in 4:26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,..."

Learn to forgive as quickly as possible knowing that God does forgive you, even when you forget to ask for His forgiveness!

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Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Engaged and making wedding plans?

Has he proposed? Have you started making your #wedding #plans?

The excitement and reality of being engaged is great! Some ladies would feel like jumping on top of the roof to shout and inform the whole world about the good news :-)

After this initial excitement, toast and celebration, the next thing on the agenda will be to draw the wedding plan.

Bear in mind that planning a wedding is not easy. In addition to booking venues for the ceremony & reception and making proper arrangements for the bride, bridegroom & guests, there are still other major and minor things related to the wedding that have to be taken care of either before, during or after the wedding. The task of planning a perfect wedding is overwhelming. As a result, it is relevant to have some people assigned to handle specific tasks. Depending on one's preference and the circle of friends, there might be need to hire professional event planners or simply have different committee of friends charged with the respective tasks.

The bride, following the advice and support of family members and close friends will have to take care of her personal needs like the outfit (wedding / evening dresses), make-up kit / style, shoes, hair style, jewellery, etc.. Under normal circumstances, the bridegroom is not supposed to be part of this plan.

Just like the bride, the bridegroom selects his outfit and that of his best man. He makes all necessary arrangements to ensure that he has all he needs.

Oh, some of the many other little things to think about are the marriage courses/lessons, liaising with the church to ensure that the activities of the day are well planned, designing and printing of invitation cards, buying of the wedding rings, making a list of those to be invited (making sure that important people are not left out), deciding on who and who will make up the bridal train, decoration of the reception venue (the decoration colour usually depends on preferences and/or highlights on the bridal train outfit), the hen party, etc.

When booking the day of the your wedding, it is very important to take into consideration the fact that enough time is needed for proper planning. You will surely get ideas and support from your loved ones. There are also so many websites, magazines and free wedding catalogues that might give you ideas!

Wishing you all the best!

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