Going out on “dates” with
the same person may or may not result in a lasting friendship.
Friendship has a very broad
definition. People are engaged in different types of friendship, be it with
childhood sweethearts or people met in the college, university or at
work.
For the purpose of this
write-up, I will exclude childhood sweethearts. Let us concentrate on
friendships that start as “dates” at different stages in life.
People always ask: how long does it take before one can feel comfortable
introducing such a friend to one's family members? The decision on when to make
this bold move is very dicey and challenging. In some places, culture also
plays a very important role.
Some people say that it's
good to have an introduction immediately after hooking up while others say that
it is good to observe how things unfold first before introduction. Both
arguments are backed with different reasons and circumstances.
The first group of people
argue that making an introduction at the early stages of a friendship will help
them know their friend’s family members in order to study their characters; the
family members in turn will know them. So they will feel either accepted or
rejected from the onset. They say that leaving it too late for an introduction
indicates that they are not interested in any serious relationship.
The other group argue that
it is better to wait in order to know if the friendship will work out on the
long run before making any introduction. They say that it will give time for
both parties to study each other and check compatibility. Their question
is: what if they become good friends with the family members, make future plans
together and the friendship fails?
One of my acquaintances
supports this opinion; he is strongly against any early introduction. He will
say that it is always better to wait long enough before involving the
family. I do not blame him though; his advice is based on his bitter
experience. When he started going out with his former girlfriend, he introduced
her to his family as soon as they met. His family members were all over her,
even encouraged them to do things together. During that time, one of his
relatives was planning his wedding. Of course they were invited. The relative
was living in a different country so they had to book a flight and make hotel
and other relevant reservations together. Unfortunately for him, this
relationship became shaky, things did not work out as expected and they broke
up before the wedding day.
If it were you, what would
you do?
